Episode III - "I'm Outta Here!"

Scene: The cash register/main entrance at Digital Depot. CARA and CURTIS are standing behind the greeter’s podium. CARA welcomes customers to the store.

CARA: [To entering customer] "Hi, welcome to Digital Depot…"

CURTIS: "So how's your design class going?"

CARA: "It's totally kicking my butt. But in a good way. I like the challenge, you know?"

CURTIS: "Yeah. I've got a challenge coming up. But in a bad way." [Curtis and Chuck Norris in a boxing ring]

CARA: "What’s up?"

THEO enters: [cheerfully] "Hey guys! What’s up?"

CURTIS: [looking uncomfortable] "Well… oh man. This just sucks…"

CARA: "How bad does it suck? Like worse than Mount Rainier erupting?" [scene of Mount Rainier erupting – characters in front looking scared]

THEO: "Worse than losing your cell phone?" [Theo texting madly on his cell phone, looking like an addict.]

CARA: "Worse than when someone calls you, but hangs up on your voice mail?" [To entering customer] "Hi, welcome to Digital Depot…" [customer with an XBOX Guitar Hero guitar/controller hanging over his shoulder]

THEO: “and putting your foot into your slippeWorse than getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water  only to find one of your cats has puked up a hairball into it?” [cat hairball sound effect, hello kitty  sitting next to slipper looking sweet and innocent.]

CURTIS and CARA look at each other blinking. [Silence]

THEO: [shrugs] "It happens."

CARA: "Anyway, what's going on? Why are you looking so down?"

[ Little dark ominous cloud wiggling over Curtis’ head, light rain]

CURTIS: [To THEO] "Well… I don’t know how to say this. Except that… well… the shift manager just asked me to tell you…"

THEO: "Tell me what?"

CURTIS: "Well… they’re not going with lay-offs like we thought. But I'm supposed to tell you that they’re cutting your hours to half-time."

[ Little dark ominous cloud wiggling over Curtis’ head, light rain turns into dollar bills with scissors cutting them in half. ]

CARA: [Looking shocked] "Whoa…"

THEO: [Looking thunderstruck] "Wow… but…"

CURTIS: "Yeah I’m sorry. I’m thinking this sucks like when you learned the truth about Santa Claus. Am I right?" [Cut to photo of Santa’s Tombstone , little boy crying by Santa Claus’ tombstone ]

CARA: "Or like accidentally taking home-grown tree fruit into an Apple Maggot Quarantine area…" [Cut to scene with riot guards blocking an area off with appropriate signage.]

The CURTIS and THEO look at her.

CARA: "Work with me here. I’m trying to convey disaster, okay?"

THEO: [Looking hopeful and beginning to laugh] "No way dude. This isawesome! [heavenly sound effect] It’s great!"

CARA and CURTIS together: “What??!”

THEO: "This is like it’s a sunny day in February.  Or, it’s like, I never play the lottery. [Theo scratching a ticket, money rains down] but then one day, I buy a ticket just for fun and I win five thousand dollars. Or, it’s like I am this close to finishing my transfer degree and now I’m this close.” [Cut to a scene with THEO on a racetrack with Stewie, Chuck Norris, unicorns from Charlie the Unicorn youtube, P Diddy, Tyra, Will Ferrell, an evil teletubby, Elvis – Theo moves closer to the finish line.]

CARA: “So this doesn’t suck.”

THEO: “No… it’s totally excellent! It’s a gift! My advisor was just telling me if I had more time I could take more classes. Dude, that would mean I could finish my transfer degree at the community college in a lot less time. At this rate, I can start at the university next fall! And … the college can help me find money for school. ["ca-ching" sound of an old-fashioned cash register when the cash drawer slides open.] This is awesome!

CURTIS: “Are you sure?

THEO: “This is great news. I’m stoked! I just got a free pass to fast-forward my future. Eager young minds are waiting for me to become a teacher and share my vast knowledge!” [Cut to scene of THEO in classroom of characters pointing to the words “My vast knowledge” on a chalkboard ]sound effect of wonderment from the students]

CARA: “They just don’t know it yet.”

THEO: “Exactly!!” [To entering customer] “Hi, welcome to Digital Depot [Big burly guy with a Hello Kitty teeshirt] …I’m outta here!”